When she was fine

It's a problem I never had. I was never that dude that all the chicks swoon over, the one who every woman wants and says to other's, "girl, that dude is just ssssssssssssssssss". Not that I ever really saw what the big deal was about the guys who were held in such esteem. Most of them were just regular dudes, whose breathes stank, skin was fucked up upon further review, and who were just as unsure of themselves as the ugly ducklings, like me.

Don't get me wrong, because I'm no hater. If a guy is a good looking guy, I have no problem acknowledging that, and if women swoon over a guy, I'm not offended by it. I've never been that insecure! However, some of the men who women have designated "super fine" over the years have really been just regular, every day guys. Denzel Washington looks like another good looking guy off any city street, and David Haselhoff is that hunky gym teacher in a high school in most towns. Be for real! (laughing)

So it was really funny to me when I heard her repeatedly refer to the time, "when she was fine". What does it mean to say "when I was fine"? What were you like when you were fine? Why aren't you fine anymore? How has your significance changed, now that you're no longer fine? Can you ever be fine again? Does fine apply to you when you're 70 years old?

She told me that a few years ago, when she was "fine", guys never looked at who she is as a person, and that they only saw her amazing physical form. Then, no man wanted to talk with her, get to know her, and befreind her. No, when she was fine, they only wanted to fuck her. This is a very intelligent young woman, who has a lot to say, and can provide much fuel to add to the mixtures of great invention. In short, this chick can get you off and help you get your idea to Congress.

Why, then, does she long for that days when all guys saw was her body? She's gained a few pounds over the past few years, and is not what she'd call "fine" anymore. Now, she says, that men look at her, "intelligence, leadership, business savvy, and expertise", but that kind of recognizance alone just doesn't make her smile the way that she though it would.

It would be so great if she was that fine again, AND men admired her mental and intellectual beauty! The reality is, however, that we live in a world were men often could care less about what a woman has to say in the classrooms and boardrooms of the world. Rather, what really interests men is what a woman has to say in the bedrooms of our world. That's funny, huh?

So is a broad not fine if she's not so fine physically anymore? If a chick, or a guy for that matter, is not slim, svelte, trim, lean or "model" slim anymore are they therefore not fine? What about the kindness that a girl possesses? Does it mean anything that a man lends a helping hand to those around him who need help? Is not a woman's work ethic a quality that is considered beautiful? Though we live in a really hasty, impatient world, don't we all find it really attractive when we're standing in a line and, while everyone else bitches, there's this one guy who just smiles politely and waits his turn (I'm usually that guy)?

Think about it. What does it mean to be "fine", and if it only refers to physical beauty, who of us will be fine forever? Can you be considered fine when you're 97, and your skin hangs like it was stretched like puddy (if that's how you end up looking!)?

I think we all need to redefine the word fine in our minds to allow for it's meaning relative to our circumstances. Fine is anything that is good about us. Don't you think? Won't you think about that?

Maybe our aforementioned girl never needs be nostalgic about what her identity was, "when she was fine". Maybe she'll find that she carries that identity with her throughout her whole life.

And hopefully a time will come when she'll never again think about what life was like, when she was fine.